How exercise helped me find myself again after loss
After experiencing loss and a period of poor mental health, Mandy found herself at a crossroads. Struggling with grief, confidence and wellbeing, she didn’t recognise the person she’d become. This is Mandy’s story of how discovering group exercise helped her rebuild strength, confidence and community - and how staying active became a vital part of her journey through loss, recovery and new beginnings.
In 2020, my life looked very different to how it does now. After my daughter was stillborn, I was grieving, depressed, overweight and unhappy, and I’d lost a lot of confidence in myself.
It was my partner who gently suggested I try getting back into exercise. I’d been a member of a gym before, but motivation had always been my biggest barrier. I knew that if I was going to give it another go, I’d need structure and encouragement - not just to be left to my own devices.
That’s when I spotted a Boxercise class. I decided to go along with my daughter, who was 17 at the time. From the very first session, I loved it. I felt welcome, supported, and for the first time in a long while, hopeful. Nearly four years later, I’m still going to the same class.
Exercise didn’t just change my body, it changed my mindset. I started to feel stronger, both physically and mentally. As I lost weight and improved my fitness, my confidence came back. That journey eventually helped me to fall pregnant again, and I now have an 18‑month‑old daughter.
Even during pregnancy, staying active became an important part of my routine. I continued going to Active Wirral circuit classes right up until the Friday before I gave birth at 38 weeks. The instructors were fantastic, knowledgeable, supportive and always focused on my safety. They helped me adapt exercises and, just as importantly, kept me mentally strong.
What I love most about group exercise is the sense of community. Everyone encourages each other. If you start to flag, someone is always there with a “come on, you’ve got this”. That support makes all the difference, especially on the days when your motivation dips.
These days, exercise is my time. I get around two hours a week that are just for me - time to reset, switch off from work and family life, and focus on my own wellbeing. I genuinely regret it if I miss a session, because I know how much better I feel after going.
Exercise has also become something I share with my family. My oldest daughter has gone off to university now, but my 23‑year‑old son comes to Boxercise at Guinea Gap Leisure Centre with me instead. It’s something we can do together, and I love setting that example. My eight‑year‑old is desperate to join in too - she can’t wait to be old enough to try boxing herself. For now we make a lot of use of the swimming pools for a family swim!
I didn’t have any stamina when I first started. I couldn’t keep up, and there were times I thought, “I’ll never be able to do this.” But every week I told myself I’d get better, and little by little, I did. Now I can hold my own, and that sense of achievement is priceless.
For anyone reading this who’s been through loss, or who feels intimidated by the idea of getting active, my advice is simple: start somewhere, and don’t be afraid to ask for support. You don’t have to be fit to begin - you just have to begin! For me, exercise became about far more than fitness. It gave me strength when I needed it most, helped me rebuild my confidence, and reminded me that taking time for myself isn’t selfish - it’s essential.
If Mandy’s story has inspired you to get more active, support is available locally. Active Wirral is Wirral Council’s sport and physical activity service, offering a wide range of affordable activities, classes and support for people of all ages and abilities. From gyms and fitness classes to swimming, walking and family-friendly activities, there’s something for everyone. To find out what’s on near you and how to get involved, visit activewirral.com
