“I can’t imagine life without her”: could you be a Shared Lives Carer?

Individuals, couples and families are being asked to step forward to support adults with additional needs across Wirral.

Shared Lives, a council-run service, matches carers with people who need support. That support can be living in the carer's home or elsewhere – whatever works best for each situation.

We spoke to Mandy, a Shared Lives Carer from Bromborough and Hannah, the young woman she cares for, to learn a bit more about their story.

Hannah moved in with Mandy in 2010 when she was 17 years old. Having come from children’s services and a previous placement, Hannah was initially shy. She soon settled and her true personality shone through.

Mandy said:

We hit it off almost immediately. When Hannah first came to me she didn’t speak much, she struggled with certain things but she quickly grew in confidence.

Speaking of the move, Hannah told us her first impressions of Mandy and her home were that it was “cozy and comfortable”, something she still feels 14 years later.

Hannah has down’s syndrome and needs extra support in her day-to-day life. With Mandy’s background in psychotherapy and her children out of the house, she was ready to share her home, and her culinary skills, with someone special.

Mandy said:

I’m a good Greek cook, and it turned out you can win Hannah round for anything with some home cooked food…

- to which Hannah nods and laughs knowingly.

Mandy continued:

But it was such a good match, with my background and her having been through some tricky times, I guess we were lucky. It was as if she was meant to be with me. She’s absolutely fantastic.
She needs help sometimes and I explain things to her, but she is competent too and a real social butterfly.

As Hannah grew from late teens to adulthood, she found a job at a local church’s café before working at some local charity shops too. Wherever she went, she seemed to draw people’s attention and get them chatting.

Mandy said:

I remember her coming home from work [at the café] one day with bags of presents in her arms for her birthday – the people she served at the café had taken such a shine to her.
She’s just got such a bubbly personality, she loves to laugh, she loves music. She’s like a celebrity sometimes!

Hannah is also popular with her ‘blended’ family, as Mandy calls it. According to Mandy’s children and grandchildren, Hannah is just part of the crew.

Mandy said:

She is just part of the family and one of my kids. We go to the pictures, bowling, holidays – normal family stuff you do day in day out.
She has nieces and nephews, which are my grandchildren, it’s as if she’s always been with us.

And while Mandy supports Hannah, Mandy says Hannah has been a great source of comfort in her life, especially when she was diagnosed with cancer in 2021. Now 18 months in remission, Mandy says, Hannah and the Shared Lives team, along with her family, really got her through it.

Mandy said:

When I was poorly and I was really ill, Hannah was there for me too. She made me cups of tea, she dotes on me.
Steff from the Shared Lives team was amazing, she would come and visit us, she brought me flowers. She reassured me that Hannah was going to be fine and she put in extra days that Sandra [a Shared Lives respite carer] could look after her.
I felt supported, so I could support her. Everybody rallied round and we got through it together.

The pair joke, while Hannah was obviously concerned for Mandy during her illness – she was also worried about missing out on her cooking.

Mandy laughed:

She asked me outright one day, are you going to die? I comforted her that I was getting better, and she says ‘because if you do, who’s going to make my dinner?’ She had her priorities right – she does make me laugh!

So, what would the pair say to others thinking about accessing support, or becoming a carer with, Shared Lives?

Hannah said:

Shared Lives is about support. Living with Mandy has made my life better, I like living with her because she is a great supporter – and a good cook!
I would say that Shared Lives is a really good thing because they help people to understand important things. This is my home.

Mandy said:

It’s really fulfilling. I don’t think there would be anything else for me that I would do now. You get so much enrichment because of it. I can’t imagine life without her [Hannah]. She’s just like one of my children, there’s no difference.

What do the two see their future looking like? Hannah is on the job hunt with the support of her Shared Lives carer Mandy.

Mandy said:

She’s absolutely brilliant at what she does, she lights up every room she’s in and is great with customers. So she’s looking for a new part time role at a charity shop. I really hope we can find one for her.
For me, I can see us staying together for many, many years.