“He instantly became part of the family”: How Shared Lives gave one family peace of mind
When Lynne started planning her wedding, there was one thing she couldn't stop worrying about – who would care for her dad, Harold.
Harold lives with dementia and Lynne had given up her job to care for him full-time. Previous experiences of traditional respite care had left Harold quieter and more withdrawn when he returned home. With her wedding approaching, Lynne wanted to find somewhere he would feel safe, supported and part of a family while she celebrated her special day.
For Lynne, Shared Lives offered something different.
Shared Lives is a council-run, CQC-regulated service that matches adults who need support with trained carers. Support takes place in a real home environment, helping people maintain their independence while becoming part of everyday family life.
After speaking to the team, she was introduced to potential carers. As with any Shared Lives arrangement, finding the right match took time. Two potential matches were explored but couldn't progress due to changes in circumstances. The Shared Lives team continued working with Lynne until they found someone who felt right for Harold.
That person was Karen.
Karen and her husband already had an unexpected connection to Harold. Karen's husband remembered Harold as a former neighbour from his childhood, helping everyone feel at ease from the start.
Harold stayed with Karen while Lynne got married, and the arrangement quickly became something special.
Karen said:
It was an absolute pleasure to be matched with Harold. He instantly became part of the family, and it was great that I could spend quality time with him. We would sit down and watch musicals and we would both enjoy singing along and having a good chat. We went out for walks often, although Harold cannot walk too far. It was thoroughly enjoyable and one of the most rewarding arrangements I have ever had.
For Lynne, it meant she could enjoy her wedding knowing her dad was being cared for by people who genuinely valued him.
Speaking about Harold's stay, Lynne said:
The weekend trial at Karen's house went amazingly well and put my mind at rest too. I wanted him to have some one-to-one time, human contact and feel like part of a family (home from home). I didn't want him feeling alone, confused, neglected or afraid.
When Harold returned home, he quickly settled back into his usual routine. The experience was so positive that Lynne and her new husband are now planning regular breaks, knowing he is in safe hands.
Lynne said:
I will definitely be using Karen again. She and her husband Vincent were amazing with my dad and clearly looked after him and treated him as one of the family. They were truly wonderful and I thank them from the bottom of my heart for taking such great care of him.
Could you become a Shared Lives carer?
Stories like Harold's show how much of a difference Shared Lives can make, not just for the person being supported, but for their families too.
You don't need professional care experience to become a Shared Lives carer. People from all walks of life become carers, and full training and ongoing support are provided.
What matters most is having the time, patience and willingness to welcome someone into your life and help them live as independently as possible.
If you've got a spare room and want to make a difference, Shared Lives could be something you've never considered – but might be right for you.
To find our more email sharedlives@wirral.gov.uk or visit Shared Lives.
