“It's our passion”: a foster carer’s mission to keep siblings together
Jayne Weatherston is one of Wirral’s fantastic foster carers. With 10 years of foster care experience under hers and her husband Chris’ belts, she has a heck of a lot to say about how important foster caring is, why more people should do it, and why keeping siblings together is key.
Jayne said:
Chris and I started fostering around 10 years ago. I used to be a nurse at Alder Hey Children’s Hospital and Chris was still working then too. We had always wanted to foster children and when our two children grew up we thought we’d try it.
According to Jayne, 53, she and her husband Chris, 60, quickly took to foster care – it was a natural fit for them.
Jayne said:
We started off slow but eventually I needed to leave my job and focus on fostering full time as we were so busy.
We foster mainly 0-6 year olds, I find that my skillset is more suited to that age group and we love newborns.
Throughout our time we have fostered around 30 children.
Jayne, who lives in South Wirral, is vocal and passionate about the important role that foster carers play in the lives of the children they support.
Jayne said:
When any child first comes to us we are mindful that this is a massive change for them and we’re really receptive to their behaviours, their needs. I believe you’ve got to be willing to meet the children where they’re at and then help them move forward – if that means staying stationary until they’re ready to move forward then so be it. They have a lot to navigate, we’ve been here before but it’s huge for these children.
Like many foster carers, Jayne is a strong advocate for keeping sibling groups together wherever possible – and she truly leads by example.
Jayne said:
It’s so important to keep siblings together. It’s a massive passion of mine to keep them together and get them to where they need to be.
A child who comes to a foster carer is going through such a challenging time. They are away from their home, bedroom, their toys, their usual family or guardians. If their siblings are then put into another placement, you’re adding to something that is already extremely difficult and scary.
It makes sense to keep siblings together wherever possible. Siblings settle quicker and maintaining those family bonds can lessen trauma.
Sometimes there are cultural/religious/language barriers. In the past we fostered two little girls from Lithuania. We didn’t speak the same language which was obviously a huge challenge, but it was made a lot easier by the fact that they have each other.
Along with sibling groups, Jayne and Chris’ niche is short-term foster placements.
Jayne said:
There’s short and there’s short – it can be a few weeks up to months, or in one case we had a sibling group for around 2.5 years.
We see our role as providing stability in a stepping stone before adoption. Whatever situation the child has come from, we want to nurture them, create a safe space and help them feel at home. You’re helping these young people move on to their happy ever after.
When it comes time for one of their foster children to move on, Jayne says that support doesn’t stop.
Jayne said:
It used to be the thinking that the previous carers needed to disappear from the picture to help the child transition, but nowadays that’s seen as potentially re-traumatising. For us, whether the children are moving back with family, to different carers or being adopted, we transition them gradually.
If they move out on a Monday, we visit them on a Tuesday, and then again a few days later. It helps make that transition as smooth as possible – and shows them that they have a support network too.
For Jayne and her family, fostering has only been a positive thing. They believe they’ll be fostering for a very long time.
Jayne said:
Foster caring is a uniquely challenging role, but it's improved our lives, without a doubt. There have been lows but they in no way outbalance the highs. Seeing children thrive and grow is so satisfying and to think that we’ve had a positive impact on in a child’s life is a great joy. This is why we’re still doing it after 10 years. You can’t do it if you’re not driven, we’ve still got that passion for these children. I imagine we will provide foster care and support for as long as we’re able.
And they’re still in touch with many of the children they’ve fostered.
Jayne said:
Christmas is getting very expensive these days as our list grows longer and longer. If it’s right for the situation, we keep in contact. We see most of our previous foster children two to three times a year. I love September time, we get an influx of new school uniform photos as they all move up a year.
While Jayne and Chris are making a huge difference in the lives of many young people, they say that more foster carers are needed to share the load.
Jayne said:
Over the years I’ve met so many people who, when they find out what I do, they say they’d love to be a foster carer. To which I say, ‘why don’t you?’
Whether it’s about money, jobs, time, space – there are ways to work around these things. What’s stopping you – tell us and we’ll answer to that, we might be able to help.
You won’t just be thrown in at the deep end, you will receive training and endless support along the way by your social workers and the fostering team.
We need more people to take a leap, step up and become foster carers. It’s a fantastic thing to do for a child, but it’s so rewarding too. I’d be happy to speak to anybody who is thinking about it.
If you have been considering fostering in Wirral and want to find out more, visit the Foster4 website.
